Ysalwen Surana, Warden-Commander of Ferelden (
freedom_is_grey) wrote2016-10-13 07:38 pm
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Skipping stones, we know the price now
Ysalwen sleeps, curled into a small ball, her face pressed tight to Liranan's flank, dampening his fur with the remnants of tears.
She wakes on a mountaintop, cloak wrapped loosely around her, unbraided hair snapping wild in the wind.
She is not alone.
She wakes on a mountaintop, cloak wrapped loosely around her, unbraided hair snapping wild in the wind.
She is not alone.
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Ysalwen turns around, a smile breaking through her weepiness even as she scrubs at her eyes, wiping the residual tears away.
Or, you know. She tries.
"I didn't think you were coming back! Or, I -- "
She sniffles again.
"I didn't know. So you can't blame me for these mountains. They were manifested by someone's subconscious."
Hers, really. Because honestly these mountains are the farthest thing away from Kirkwall it's possible to have. Or be.
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"okay who am i kidding i was probably exactly that bad sorry"
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She scrubs at her eyes again.
"You were fine. Not you, but. Fine. I just -- it -- "
Ysalwen sniffs, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth one more time.
"It's been a very bad few days. At home. And I can't -- "
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"not a lot of victories but we brought enough fuck ups for the entire class and we've been practicing our sharing. gonna get 'most improved' on our report card and everything"
He pauses. "i'd uh, ask if you wanted a bro hug bump or something but i've got a little wardrobe malfunction it's pretty embarrassing. nsfw."
The color of his god tier uniform disguises it at first look, but this Dave is bloody as well.
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"I've been covered in worse things. If -- will it hurt? You, I mean. Since the blood is -- "
Well.
You know.
Blood.
"Does it go so poorly every time?"
Maybe she means time shenanigans.
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Are you going to crush his ribcage with your massive strength, Ysa?
"another dead dave means i screwed the pooch somewhere along the line yeah. that was why i stopped using the time powers i was getting pretty sick of it not working out.
"look as far as i know if stuff is supposed to happen then it's going to fucking happen
"but you've got alternate timelines and shit, the sword guy and the dork who likes dogs are from other universes right and neither of them are doomed like all my shit is they're legit
"so maybe you can't mess with the big *world altering* bullshit no taking a u-turn and telling the timeline you're going to turn this car around and give it something to cry about
"but you might be able to poke around the edges a little bit. if someone tells you there's problems and shit's going down in the future you can still choose what your plan is and how you react to it get me"
He shakes his head. "or do i sound like i'm totally talking out of my ass giving pep talks isn't my usual gig i'm pretty shitty with anything except disaffected moral support"
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She does sniffle again, though.
"I promise not to crush your ribs with my amazing thews. I swear."
Bro hugs have been missed.
"I just -- I did try, and I tried to plan, and I thought maybe -- but there's -- I didn't know he made Justice into Vengeance, no one knew, and I couldn't -- "
Please hug her and make her shut up, Dave. Please.
(Ysa couldn't save Dave, either. None of them could. Poor, poor Nepeta. Sweet Andraste, perhaps she will have a visitation, too.)
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"you're not a seer or a time guy, you couldn't have known everything that's why most people leave this shit to the pros. even then it sucks and you were probably off doing something hella dangerous weren't you"
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Gently.
"I went to see him. Anders. Justice. I thought -- but he was talking about destroying the Chantry during services, as if killing a thousand was justified, and -- "
The tears are falling faster now.
"He wanted me to join him. And -- no, no, I couldn't, not ever, not -- and he got so angry, and I knew -- "
She chokes back a sob.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I -- you have troubles too, and you keep dying and -- "
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Dave tucks his cape around her, fingers light on her arm.
"tell me your shit"
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She's really sobbing now, gulping down air to try to make herself comprehensible.
Plus half her face is turned into Dave's shoulder, so --
"I killed them. They were my friends, both of them, and I -- and it didn't stop anything."
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"did you have to do it"
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Though perhaps not today.
"I couldn't -- he wasn't ever going to stop. They weren't ever going to stop. They can't. That's what being Justice means. And then Vengeance -- I don't know another way -- "
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"so it's not like it was a whim or something."
Dave shifts his shoulders as if he was about to shrug, then decided not to.
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"No. No, it wasn't that. But I don't -- it just -- "
She reaches up to wipe at her eyes with her free hand.
"I'm afraid."
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"you're the biggest badass around and you're gonna take whatever they throw at you and spit it back in their faces"
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"What if I forget how to stop? Or don't want to? Someday. What if -- What if I can't."
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But certainty is dangerous, too. So she sniffles again, wipes her eyes, and finally lets go of Dave's waist.
Mostly.
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"Yo. Definitely wasn't expecting to see you again. Or anything again let's be real"
He isn't holding on to her anymore, but he doesn't move away.
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"Wait, again?"
What?
"Dave, is that -- but you died and said -- and you were just -- "
What?
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He nods. "We met once sort of another dream i think
"Sounds like you're having a little trouble now"
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Her response is instant and a little wary, but --
"Or -- no, there was once . . . "
She shivers, and for a moment the air grows piercingly cold.
Then --
"I am having trouble, I think. With a great many things that are all the same thing in the end. Are you? Or -- "
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Because death doesn't seem like it makes things any easier, honestly.
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