walking down the trousers of time

[freedom_is_grey]

Ysalwen is standing by the fireplace, cloak in hand, half-turning to go out the back door and then turning back, scanning the crowd as if looking for something.

Or someone.

Liranan, too, is practically vibrating in place.

Taking cues from your person can be a difficult thing to bear, for a mabari.

He cannot make this better!

Comments

[howtoactfereldan]

Ci looks at the stick, and almost goes --

She looks at Ysalwen.

Then the little(r) gray dog moves, trotting up to Cullen and literally sitting on his boot.

Cullen blinks.

[freedom_is_grey]

There we go.

Someone's doing something.

Ysalwen throws the stick again, Liranan trotting obediently after it.

Three.

Four.

Five . . .

Eventually Liranan brings back a mouthful of flat stones, instead.

For skipping across the lake.

[howtoactfereldan]

At which point Cullen has given in to the inevitable and is sitting on the ground, knees drawn up. Ci is stretched out on her side next to him at optimal petting angle.

It's for his sake. Completely altruistic on her part.

(The set of his shoulders has relaxed, some.)

[freedom_is_grey]

Ysalwen's own considerable focus is on skipping each stone as many times as possible.

Then multiplying the total by the stone number, and adding it to her overall total. She wins when she gets to 1,000. Or something.

Her other hand rests on Liranan's back, just below his neck.

They are both breathing.

It's not terrible.

[howtoactfereldan]

It's something he used to do as a child, with the family dog, out at the lake that served as his quiet place.

It's a good habit. Something he can do when he leaves Kirkwall, should he get the chance.

(Should he get the chance.)

Ci rolls over on her back; Cullen's smile, crooked as it is, is drawn out before he realizes, and he rubs her belly.

[freedom_is_grey]

Ysalwen continues to skip stones.

When she only has a few left in the pile, Liranan heaves himself to his feet and goes to hunt down more.

At last she achieves five skips.

Now to attempt six.

Or maybe glance over at Cullen and Ci. To -- see.

[howtoactfereldan]

It helps, making someone happy solely with his presence. Everything else might be a mess... but his mabari likes him.

(It's easier to be quiet, small, self-contained. To find a place, however small and out of the way, to be at peace.

Whatever comes next -- )

[freedom_is_grey]

It's good to see. If anything counts as 'good' just now.

Ysalwen takes a deep breath and then exhales.

Quietly.

Back to skipping stones it is, then.

Once Liranan returns.

[howtoactfereldan]

His presence doesn't matter much, then.

Slowly, Cullen unfolds himself and stands.

Soft: "I'll... leave you to it, then."

[freedom_is_grey]

"What -- "

She looks up.

"No -- "

Wait.

"I mean. You can. I just thought -- "

What did she just think? What does she ever think, really, with all this.

"I thought maybe quiet companionship would be nice? For awhile. If -- until we were both -- better. Or -- felt better. Um."

[howtoactfereldan]

"...is that what you call that?"

Two people occupying close space, otherwise not interacting?

It reminds Cullen of the Circle.

He shakes his head. "Never mind. Of course. If that's what you'd -- " And takes a knee beside Ci.

[freedom_is_grey]

"Well, that and giving you space while taking some for myself. I -- "

She looks away, white hair falling to shade her face.

"I usually hide away, I guess. But I didn't want to, with you. So."

A pause.

"Do you -- I know I shouldn't ask, Maker and Andraste both know I shouldn't, but -- you'll be all right? I mean, there's a higher chance than none, right?"

[howtoactfereldan]

"Don't ask because you feel obligated." Quiet, without rancor. "There's nothing wrong with hiding."

There are lots of things wrong with hiding.

"But I'll do whatever you ask."

[freedom_is_grey]

"No! That's not -- "

She exhales, the brief upsurge of energy draining away.

"I just worry. You're my friend, and I worry, and I don't know if you want me to or not, or if it's just another burden, or -- "

So.

"I don't want to hurt you, if I can avoid it. And I feel like I do it all the time. I did it just now."

A lot, just now.

"I shouldn't have asked about Anders. I'm sorry."

[howtoactfereldan]

"I was the only one you could ask." Low. "That's fine. You wanted to know."

Cullen looks up. "I don't think any degree of worry on my behalf would change what you do. It makes sense to save yourself the trouble. That's all."

[freedom_is_grey]

"Oh yes. Caring, so troublesome."

Her mouth quirks at one corner, though it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Do you want me to leave you be? I can't tell, and I'm terrible at guessing. We can run the dogs if you don't, I suppose. Or gather enough rocks out here to put together something like a chess lesson. Perhaps Ci and Liranan would like to learn. Or a terrible card game using leaves, where everything is a wild card and no one ever loses. Or some other option that you'd like, as that wasn't mean to be an exhaustive list."

A hesitation.

"Or we can go inside and I can show you the library? They have maps. And a lot of engineering manuals. You're interested in siege engines, if I remember right?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Talking, talking, talking --

A library? Cullen lifts his head.

She's angling for a distraction, and a library might well fit both their needs. "Yes. Among... many other things. I'm no engineer, but I can parse a schematic well enough."

[freedom_is_grey]

She perks up a little at this sign of potential interest.

"I suspect there will be books on any topic you care to think up. I've been studying engineering, myself, though not -- not that kind."

She shifts to her feet with an easy, graceful movement.

(Will she keep her bones long enough to grow old? Who knows.)

"Do you want to see how outlandish such schematics can get? Or see what historical records from Thedas might be discoverable? From what I've found already, both things are infinitely achievable."

Well. Almost infinitely.

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen's brow furrows. "You mean -- "

Well. Of course. Why wouldn't there be books from many places?

"They have things from... other places. Things we might find useful?"

[freedom_is_grey]

Ysalwen grins, sudden and bright.

Some things just can't be hidden. Honestly.

"They do! It's -- I've looked at a few things already, but I've spent more time trying to learn enough to help some friends here with their own engineering problems. Though there was someone very good at explosives who loaned me his own expertise. It came in very handy when dealing with collapsing tunnels, so. Doubtless there's a great deal else to find."

[howtoactfereldan]

...yes, Cullen thinks distantly, he would like to see this library.

He gets to his feet, whistles quietly to Ci, who stands at his side, ready to go.

"I see no reason for delay." Half a smile.

[freedom_is_grey]

"Let me just get my tablet from Bar. The library is so huge that I've started indexing where I find various bits and pieces of interest, in the hopes of being able to easily track it down again. It -- often works."

Not always, but what does?

She starts walking back to the bar even while she's speaking, walking a little bit sideways in her enthusiasm for her explanation. And the library.

Liranan trots at her side, exchanging -- or attempting to exchange -- a pleased look with Ci. They helped!

[howtoactfereldan]

Ci snorts affably, and catches up to Liranan, tail waving.

"How big is it?" Cullen asks as he follows. "You make it sound -- I don't know, like it belongs at the university in Orlais."

[freedom_is_grey]

Liranan does not shoulder-check the puppy, just ambles along contentedly at her side.

"It -- well, I've never actually been to the university in Orlais -- "

Shockingly.

" -- but this one. Well. It seems like it could go on forever, if you were the kind of person that could keep walking forever. Kind of like the garage, I suppose. Or the upstairs hallways."

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen blinks.

And says, carefully: "I've never been there, either. To Orlais. Or the garage, or upstairs. Is it -- safe?"

Beat. "Well. Orlais we can leave off."