Field trips and sinking ships

[freedom_is_grey]

It's cold and snowy on the lakeshore, but Ysalwen is walking there anyway. The cold is bracing, she has exercises to do, and it's a good place to think.

The number of Warden recruits is increasing, and while she refuses to offer the Joining to some of them, there's still been a doubling of her numbers in a relatively short time. It's time to start thinking how to turn a ragtag band of friends into something a little more --

Structured.

And that's something with which she has too much of the wrong experience.

Hence thinking.

Or maybe brooding.

A little.

Comments

[freedom_is_grey]

She meets his beady look with slightly raised eyebrows.

"Currently the only overlap is with Warden recruits that I don't think would make it through the Joining. I'm hoping they'll find fulfillment in the arling itself and be content with that."

It may be a futile hope, but -- if even just one . . .

"But I'll keep that in mind for the future. Though that probably means -- "

Wait.

" -- does that mean I should work on limiting the tethers that keep the Wardens tied to the arling? I trust Ferelden more than I do Weisshaupt, but I don't know -- I don't know over how many lifetimes that will remain true."

Or if that is relevant at this precise moment.

[howtoactfereldan]

"That's part of it," Cullen says, quiet. "The other -- you remember Orlais was prepared to answer, in the Blight, only Loghain didn't let them? What happens to the arling if Weisshaupt sends word that the Wardens of Ferelden are all called away for an indeterminate amount of time? Warden business is larger than Amaranthine, but will your farmers see it that way when their lives are disrupted?"

[freedom_is_grey]

"Likely no. But I wonder, too, how resentful they'll grow when an occupying force that does them no direct benefit takes their grain and their men and women, yet gives nothing back."

She exhales.

"A life guarded is worth something, but the living itself is worth something, too. And if Wardens see everything as only a grim burden leading toward inevitable death -- "

Ysalwen's mouth curves in a slight, self-mocking smile.

"Or maybe I just want to give Weisshaupt one in the eye."

[howtoactfereldan]

"Both very important," Cullen says, light. "Let me be clear -- I'm not saying that the Wardens should have nothing to do with the arling. Just that if Weisshaupt comes calling, or some other crisis emerges, it should be possible for the Wardens to perform their duty without disruptions for everyone else. And this -- "

He taps the paper.

" -- can be organized in such a way as to allow that to happen."

[freedom_is_grey]

"Do I have to be delicate about it?"

Her smile remains crooked.

"I might be terrible at being delicate."

She turns back to the list he is tapping, regardless, scanning down names and thinking about which personnel shifts might not be a total disaster.

(Other people's drama is exhausting.)

"Hmm."

[howtoactfereldan]

Quiet:

"A military leader doesn't have to be delicate, no. But you need a second -- Warden and not -- who is, in that case. Who are willing to stand up to you."

Not that Cullen has any experience with that.

[freedom_is_grey]

She keeps her slight, crooked smile, eyes creased at the corners just the slightest bit.

Sadness isn't what he wants. It isn't what she wants to give, either.

"There's a reason I don't surround myself with the shy and retiring type, on the whole. It doesn't serve."

Her, the Wardens, the kingdom, the world -- Ysalwen trusts herself, but not that far. And she's wrong a lot.

[howtoactfereldan]

"And what of delicacy?"

[freedom_is_grey]

"Well."

She huffs out a quiet breath.

"I can play-act with -- not the best of them, but well enough. Leliana was a fine teacher, and Morrigan, too, for all that she tended toward the blunt. It's a useful distraction in games of power. Those who are too subtle for their own good distrust and dismiss it."

Ysalwen shakes her head slightly.

"I should probably never go to Orlais."

Anyway.

"But Nathaniel was raised to be an arl's son, and when he's not vowing to kill his father's murderer, he's very good at keeping people sweet. Varel, too, is quite skilled. Garevel less so, but one of his lieutenants does well enough."

[howtoactfereldan]

Warden and seneschal. "Good. Varel and Nathaniel will form the core of your cadre of senior officers. I assume they work well together?"

Pause.

"I thought... didn't you kill his father?"

[freedom_is_grey]

"Oh. Yes! They do! And I -- we met after he infiltrated the Vigil in order to kill me? The guards got him and put him in the dungeon. Um."

Hi Cullen!

Ysalwen meets a surprising amount of people this way.

"He doesn't vow to kill me anymore. Just -- it's the first memory I have of him, so."

[howtoactfereldan]

"...and now he's your second?"

[freedom_is_grey]

Well, the last person who tried to kill her before Nathaniel is now her husband, so --

Um.




"I think you'd feel better about this if you met him. And Varel. And -- everyone?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Hastily: "I -- don't mean to give offense. Of course you know what you're about."

[freedom_is_grey]

"I like being questioned in my decisions."

She laughs a little, very quietly.

"It makes it feel like home. But -- I think it would be useful in deciding who else should move where, or which duties should be shifted, if you -- had a better idea of Amaranthine and the Vigil, and who is -- who? And how they are?"

With Ysalwen and without her, too. Maybe.

[howtoactfereldan]

Wait.

What?

"You're -- not suggesting I go with you. Surely."

[freedom_is_grey]

"You're too old to be you when I'm from, and -- well. I'm sure Milliways has some hair dye you could use. If -- "

No, that's too fast.

"I think it would help? If you could see. I'm not -- I think I'm too close to explain everything properly. But you don't have to. Just. It might be good?"

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen blows out a sharp breath, runs a hand through his hair, mind racing.

His siblings are in South Reach, not Amaranthine (or anywhere close), with no reason to travel. So that's fine. And --

" -- you said you had templars among your new Wardens. Anyone from the Ferelden Circle?"

[freedom_is_grey]

"No!"

Did that come out too quickly?

"No. They're all -- the ones that didn't leave the country as a whole are working at the schools. Or working to establish the schools. No Wardens. And the templar working with the mages and trainees in Amaranthine is from Nevarra. We. Um. Needed someone comfortable with the Mortalitasi."

Awkward.

No one likes zombie nugs.

[howtoactfereldan]

...Cullen does not like thinking about Mortalitasi so he is just going to move right along.

"If anyone asks," he says after a moment, "my name is Ser Stanton. If I get recognized, I can make something up beyond that."

[freedom_is_grey]

They're handy when it comes to the remnants of the Blackmarsh disaster. Not that Ysalwen is going to mention that, either.

"Noted. Stanton."

What?

"Do you want to be a messenger from Leliana? I've gotten a few letters from her by incongruous messenger, so -- "

[howtoactfereldan]

Cullen's eyebrows are remarkably both arched and lowered.

"Do you really think I could possibly pass for anything other than a templar?"

(Stanton's his middle name; it's also his mother's family name.)

[freedom_is_grey]

"A templar traveling to a new assignment in the Free Marches -- I can see Lel sending a message that way. And as you're not about to sing terribly melodramatic songs badly like the last messenger -- "

She shakes her head, wincing a little at the memory.

"Anyway. No. I mean. It's your choice, just. That's an option. Most won't question it, and if they do -- well. Even Zev can't always track things back to her. And my next message will tell her I had a guest that needed a cover story, and that will be an end to it."

[howtoactfereldan]

"As you like. My strategy will be to avoid talking about myself unless I absolutely can't help it."

[freedom_is_grey]

"I do make for a wonderful distraction."

It's completely true, even these days.

Maybe especially these days.